maurice martin : : freelance journalist & playwright

Well, they would be if their fins really were (as sometimes reported) load-bearing appendiges. In any case, the population of snakehead fish in the Potomac River is still swelling.

If they show up in the Tidal Basin, all is lost.

I recently teamed up with world famous video blogger Robert Parrish to produce an episode of his world famous video blog Next to Heaven. The result is Next to Heaven Episode 24. Catchy title, no?

I wrote the ep and also did the voicework, so you get to hear me stumble through a really embarrassing Cajun accent. (I hear that Chef Paul Prudhomme was so offended that he wants to put me on the Menu of Shame.)

Do you know the difference between a snakehead, a bowfin, and an American eel? You do now, thanks to the Virginia Department of Game and Inland Fisheries.

Not to be outdone, the Maryland Department of Natural Resources has issued WANTED poster for snakeheads. Not "dead or alive"--just dead, thank you.

That would be Walter R. Courtenay, Jr., and James D. Williams. Somehow, in writing about snakeheads for the Washington City Paper I failed to mention their landmark work SNAKEHEADS (Pisces, Channidae) - A Biological Synopsis and Risk Assessment. Shame on me. That book is packed with valuable info on our slimy friends.

Best of all, it's available for free in both HTML and PDF formats. FREE! Now go get it.

One of the questions left unanswered in my article Fish or Foul? was whether the northern snakehead fish found in different locations around DC--Wheaton, Md.; Crofton, Md.; and the Potomac River south of the District--were related. According to the Proceedings of the Biological Society of Washington, they are not. Read the paper here:
http://www.fws.gov/northeast/marylandfisheries/pbsw_b118_02.407-415.pdf

I just stumbled across the DC Theatre Reviews blog. Good info and a fine set o’ links.
Notice they spell it “theatre.” Not so at the Washington Theater Review. I admit that I had some internal back-and-forth over this when setting up my blog.
Using “theater” made me feel provincial and out of touch. Using “theatre” made me feel pretentious and pedantic. What to do?
As you can see, I finally decided on “theatrrr.” The rest, as they say, is history.  

More than a year ago I got an evaluation sheet from BareStage Theatre, who produced the first west coast staging of my play “Vampires on Disability.” I just took another look at it, and realized that they gave me a numerical grade.
The evaluator had to fill out ten-point Likert scales for five elements of the play. Here’s what they gave me:

• Originality - 10
• Style - 9
• Dialogue - 8
• Plot development - 8
• Character dev - 8

I got 43 out of 50, which would be 86 out of 100, which I think would have been about a B-. If I don’t bring up that grade, I won’t be eligible for varsity basketball!

Did I say play? I meant FULL-LENGTH play! That’s right, the 10-minute format can no longer contain me. I am busting out. Oh yeah.

Bughouse will be read at 8pm Sunday, Sept. 3, at the Kennedy Center. Admission is free. FREE!

This reading is part of the annual Page-2-Stage Festival. Here’s the description of Bughouse from the program:

When the International Chess Federation declares anti-depressants to be a “performance-enhancing drug,” professional chess player Kale Dutton has three months to kick the habit or end his career. He checks into the Salopek Mental Health Institute, where he falls in love with a fellow patient and accidentally starts an anti-medication revolution. Unfortunately, some people should just say yes to drugs.

The reading will take place in the South Atrium of the KenCen. Hope to see you there!

Three Questions

Waddaya know? Looks like my play “Three Questions” just appeared in show called A Pink Cadillac Nightmare and 6 other short, lighthearted plays presented by the First Unitarian Society of Plainfield in New Jersey. Here’s a picture…

Actually, that’s a picture from John Guillory’s movie adaptation of 3Q, available for online viewing here. But you get the idea. The First Unitarian Society has a broad definition of “lighthearted.”

I didn’t know about the Plainfield production until after the fact. The way that works is, they get my play from an anthology published by Samuel French Inc., which also handles permissions and royalties.

So, every once in a while, out of the blue, I get a check from Sam French for $28 or $34 or some such. As they say on the Internet, “w00t”!

Here’s another cool thing: lots of these productions are in church basements or high school gyms… even though my play has the F-word! That’s like “w00t” with a bunch of unnecessary zeros.

Let’s just hope those Unitarian thespians didn’t “forget” to contact Samuel French about the production. I’m watching you, Plainfield, and waiting for my $28. Don’t get cute.

Twister!

Play in a Day has come and gone. The contribution from Team Woolly Mammoth was “Right Hand Red”–a cautionary tale for little girls who dream of meeting Prince Charming and marrying into a bizarre Twister cult. Or something.

Richly deserved shout-outs to director Andy Wassenich, and actresses Liz Mamana and Beth Hylton. And a tip of the fedora to Olivia Doherty, who didn’t misrepresent me in her Montgomery Gazette article. Gotta keep an eye on those journalists–they’re a shifty bunch.